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a sign of aging?.......

________________________

.....it's starting to sink.
Looks like the GRINCH will
not be successful in stealing
Christmas from me........

I went out tonight to
buy dinner at around 10 pm and
the cool wind greeted me.
Like a whore waiting for me,
I inhaled it as if I have never
inhaled oxygen for months.
I love cold weather,
it makes me feel good,
( oh---I suddenly miss Baguio)....

_________________________

and it never failed to remind me that my favorite season is here and nobody can stop it. Except me, if I shut myself out of it. But how can I? It's would be like killing the child in me......

So as I said, I felt Christmas a bit tonight. Hope this kind of emotion continues to progress in time.

As I was closely analyzing the situation.
I came up with a couple explanations.



_________________________

1. I'm just too worried.

--about many things. Mostly about the goals that I have set. I feel like I might fall short on some of them and that makes me so anxious. If I can extend the year, I would.

2. I have to Learn to be MORE thankful

---I am. But, I should be more thankful for the year that was. It has been a very fruitful one and I should take it as such without asking for more.

3. I miss Christmas parties

--maybe because it's my first time in 5 years since I started working that I haven't attend a Christmas Party. Those lousy presentations, endless greetings and the anticipation of winning in the raffle although you haven't won for the past 27 years.

4. maybe it's a sign of aging.....

-- well, I know Christmas is for kids, because when you are young, you are UNEMPLOYED, which means to say that you are on the RECEIVING END of the equation. That way, you feel the meaning of " Christmas is the season of giving" thing. It feels a lot different if you do all the shopping.

--not that I'm too young not to know this but I am just not yet ready to think that I am getting older and Christmas the way I felt it years ago is just different from what I feel now. I am still waiting and hoping I could forget all the worries and just let the magic of Christmas take me as it did during my innocent years.....

Comments

  1. NielDecember 17, 2008 at 8:51 PM

    wiwisyu a meri krismas
    wiwisyu a meri krismas
    wiwisyu a meri krismas
    en a hapi nyu yir!!!

    namamasko po...

    try mo kumanta ng Christmas songs (mga 8) with feelings wag lang yung 'Pasko na Sinta ko' at 'Miss Kita Kung Krismas'.

    ReplyDelete
  2. pusangkalyeDecember 17, 2008 at 10:14 PM

    Niel Camhalla --mukhang magandang exercise yan a...matry nga~~~salamat Niel.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousDecember 17, 2008 at 10:30 PM

    Last night my doorbell rang. When I opened the door a group of carolers started singing a Christmas song. After they finished singing, I pulled my wallet to give them some money but they said they do not need the money. They were doing it to spread the spirit of Christmas. They sure got one who needs it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. aquamarineDecember 17, 2008 at 11:26 PM

    meditate on these friend..hope these will give y0u peace esp. this holiday seasons: Psalm 37:4"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart." and Phil. 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

    i also get anxious sometimes but i simply recite these powerful verses.ano ba, be merry...you have all the reason to be happy!

    ReplyDelete
  5. aquamarineDecember 17, 2008 at 11:35 PM

    bertn--that was so nice of the carolers!hmmm,magawa nga yan sa amin..spread the spirit of Christmas?absolutely an incredible idea..let the crises worry about itself, lets us all be merry..
    you don't have to spend a lot just to be happy,right?

    ReplyDelete
  6. pusangkalyeDecember 18, 2008 at 12:00 AM

    bertN---wow, can you tell them to go here? keke

    aquamarine---maraming salamat sa mga dvices leri--nakakatulong talaga ng marami---

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousDecember 18, 2008 at 12:59 AM

    hindi ko feel ang xmas.. mas enjoy ako pag bagong taon..

    try mo palaging sumama sa mga bata pag ganitong season makikita mo yung sarili mo sa kanila nung kabataan mo.. ewan ko lang ah pero pag ganun kase ginagawa ko eh natutuwa ako.. :D

    ReplyDelete
  8. darkhorseDecember 18, 2008 at 1:10 AM

    Ayus dre - "sign of aging"....lol ganito ang buhay minsan prang cheese yan kpag lalong tumatagal lalong nagmamahal ang value at sumasarap ang flavor dba? (aged cheese)...lol

    ReplyDelete
  9. mavsDecember 18, 2008 at 1:53 AM

    at kamusta naman ung malamig na hangin na animong whore na naghihintay sayo...hehe..tama ba yung translation ko? lolz...

    umeepal lang PG...

    sana nga tuloy tuloy na yang feeling mong ganyan...

    oo ngat xmas will never be the same for you as it was years ago but in a positive view, this is also the time for you to celebrate xmas in a more mature approach...

    xmas is for everybody naman e di lang pang-kids daba?

    kantahan nalang kaya kita...
    sa may bahay ang aming bati,
    meri xmas na maluwalhati
    ang pag-ibig pag siyang naghari
    araw araw ay magiging pasko lagi..
    penge pong barya...lolz

    meow! meow!

    ReplyDelete
  10. gillboardDecember 18, 2008 at 4:30 AM

    di ka nga dapat malungkot kasi kahit papaano, mukhang hindi malamig ang Pasko mo.. May iba dyan.. nawalan na ng trabaho, wala pang syota, madami pang inaanak...

    hindi po ako yun... ineemphasize ko lang.. hehe

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousDecember 18, 2008 at 7:26 AM

    we share the same fate...

    if for other people, xmas is a happy season, for me its just a season of realizing how unlucky I am in certain aspects of life. BUT, I also believe that there'll be a christmas when my heart will be filled with joy. I'm a happy person in nature. EMO nga lang minsan. heheehehe... kaya siguro nilikha ang blog kasi dun mo na lahat ibinunuhos kahit pag nakikita ka nila sa office, sa bahay, sa mall na masaysng masaya ka :)

    remember what oprah once said. Lets concentrate on the things that we have because if we concentrate to what we dont have, it'll never be ENOUGH. :)

    hope I got it right! hehehe

    MERRY XMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR! :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. MysLykeMeehDecember 18, 2008 at 8:58 AM

    lolzz--nakakatuwa ka naman! "The wind greeted you like a whore waiting for you --hahaha! (really funny)

    anyway--nasa sayo lang yan eh! Pinupush mo ciguro sarili mo kaya medyo hindi mo na enjoy yung 'now'.

    Bata ka pa kid, sabi ng lolo! ikaw pa---pusang-gala!

    Take care!

    ReplyDelete
  13. The Dork OneDecember 18, 2008 at 9:41 AM

    goodness gracious

    na-realize ko na miss ko na rin ang xmas parties! di kc uso sa mga koreano, hayz

    ReplyDelete
  14. amiable amyDecember 18, 2008 at 10:30 AM

    you are so funny...tama nga naman, sa mata ng bata, sarap ng Xmas kasi lagi ka tanggap ng gifts...as we grow older, GOSH! we are the giver....hahaha I love Christmas and simbang gabi is a tradition that i will certainly miss

    ReplyDelete
  15. pusangkalyeDecember 18, 2008 at 11:30 AM

    darkhorse ---sabagay---age means wisdom ika nga.

    mavs ---gusto ko yun, Christmas is for everybody---hmmm. yan na nga gawin kong mantra so that I won't have to cry over spilled milk. Thanks mavs

    ReplyDelete
  16. pusangkalyeDecember 18, 2008 at 12:06 PM

    gillboard --haha. kala ko ikaw e...anyways, tama ka---me isa lang na mali---marami akong inaanak. keke

    Bry ---tama ka---malaman na malaman sinabi u ha. pero basta ha, we should make an effort parin to be happy and be joyful this Xmas---sabi nga rin ni OPRAh....I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired,.....dapat ganun na mantra natin. haha

    ReplyDelete
  17. Randy SantiagoDecember 18, 2008 at 12:41 PM

    Nararamdaman ko din iyan kung minsan. Pero ang iniisip ko, yung pamilya ko. The show must go on.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Borneo FalconDecember 18, 2008 at 4:19 PM

    I definitely feel older now. Getting injured quite easily when exercising or playing badminton

    ReplyDelete
  19. AnonymousDecember 18, 2008 at 4:39 PM

    namamasko poh!

    ReplyDelete
  20. pusangkalyeDecember 18, 2008 at 5:05 PM

    Mike Avenue ---the show must go on--gusto ko yan

    FALCON---I also feel the same. even a bad position when I sleep could really have a big impact. keke

    ReplyDelete
  21. BomzzDecember 18, 2008 at 6:46 PM

    stay young at heart...evrything around us naluluma....

    maligayang pasko Ton! Enjoy.....

    ReplyDelete
  22. wanderingcommuterDecember 18, 2008 at 7:45 PM

    naku, kelangan mo din ata ng jacket parang malamig ang pasko natin ah...

    ReplyDelete
  23. escapeDecember 18, 2008 at 8:09 PM

    hehehe... para nasa mid age crisis na ah! ok lang yan at least ang importante ay marunong ka pa rin tumingin sa mga biyaya na binibigay sa yo.

    advance merry christmas!!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. pusangkalyeDecember 18, 2008 at 9:04 PM

    Bomzz! --yun ba sekreto u kuya boomz? hmmm...cge nga gayahin kita para madali din sakin ang life. haha

    wanderingcommuter --nope, gusto kong papasukin ang lamig para maramdaman ko that Xmas is finally here....

    ReplyDelete
  25. pusangkalyeDecember 18, 2008 at 9:08 PM

    eli---patawad, keke.

    The Dong---nakopo!!!kaw naman---dipa namn nasage yan sa utak ko---me mga senyales naba? bibili nako ng stresstab bukas. yoko nga Dom.

    ReplyDelete
  26. adaptedboyDecember 18, 2008 at 9:35 PM

    nakakarelate ako dun sa 'receiving end of the equation'. :D

    christmas gives us all sorts of emotions. and it can be overwhelming at times.

    whatever, though, i hope you have a blessed holiday. :)

    ReplyDelete
  27. Byron Jeff(y)December 19, 2008 at 12:59 AM

    siguro kase iba na ang christmas sa mga panahon ngayon. Puno na ng commodification ang mga utak ng tao at hindi naiisip ang tunay na diwa ng pasko. :D

    ReplyDelete
  28. AnonymousDecember 19, 2008 at 1:21 AM

    Di nga yata maiiwasan ang mag-emote pag alam mong Pasko na. Kasi patapos na naman ang taon at tatanda ka naman. Andyan ang reflection sa sarili mo for the past year dba? Lilipas din yan, gurl. Think of the wonderful blessings He has given you for the past years.. be happy this holiday season. :)

    ReplyDelete
  29. pusangkalyeDecember 19, 2008 at 12:16 PM

    flinch --kaya nga---all kinds of emotion nga talaga. salamat

    Takemoto---yup-puro us worries about material things ayt? naging masyado narin kasing commercialized ang Xmas---could be a good thing or bad thing depending on which side of the equation you are.

    ReplyDelete
  30. pusangkalyeDecember 19, 2008 at 12:35 PM

    MeL --boy po ako---tama ka dyan. marami kasing mangyayari next year at maraming reflections na kailangang gawin kaya ganun~~~

    ReplyDelete
  31. Allen YuarataDecember 19, 2008 at 8:45 PM

    siguro madami kang bibigyan ng pamasko no? haha.

    penge. kahit naka-ang pao lang. hehe.

    ReplyDelete
  32. AnonymousDecember 20, 2008 at 1:05 AM

    hey I am getting older too! hahahaha =P

    Merry Christmas!

    ReplyDelete
  33. AnaleeDecember 20, 2008 at 8:45 AM

    Hey, you can go out shopping and you can see all the best deal, you may think that you want to be Christmas all the time. But of course that will totally wreck your pocket.

    thanks for visiting my blog. My kids are growing and are getting handful. But next year we will enjoy Christmas more as we are planning to visit pinas and enjoy with their lolo at lola. That is a one big thing to anticipate.

    You don't have reason not to enjoy, life is good. Up here at our place, we are in deep freeze, can't even go out to buy stuffs for Christmas. Sobrang ginaw pa. Naku!!!

    ReplyDelete
  34. OmanDecember 20, 2008 at 9:48 AM

    you getting old? no way. age is just a number. happy holidays!!!

    ReplyDelete
  35. Dennis VillegasDecember 20, 2008 at 10:25 AM

    I wish you a Merry Christmas, my friend!

    ReplyDelete
  36. pusangkalyeDecember 20, 2008 at 1:24 PM

    Allen Yuarata --tama---at dumagdag kapa. keke

    Eunice...hhhhmmm. I gues I am not alone. haha

    ReplyDelete
  37. pusangkalyeDecember 20, 2008 at 1:28 PM

    AngelMist ---siguro yun nalang...matuto ako pasalamat sa mga blessings....marami naman talaga....dilang makontento. salamat----I 'm glad to hear that you will be going back to PINAS for Xmas next year....iba parin ang Pasko sa Pinas......

    I hope you let your kids grow in such a way that they are still aware of their Filipino side....kasi nandun ang puso. We Filipinos have a big heart.....

    ReplyDelete
  38. pusangkalyeDecember 20, 2008 at 1:31 PM

    Lawstude ---sabagay---tama ka--at mind set narin

    Denis Villegas---salamat Denis.

    ReplyDelete
  39. AnonymousDecember 20, 2008 at 9:41 PM

    haller! hehehhe :D tagal kong di nakadalaw! merri xmas! :D

    ReplyDelete
  40. KRIS JASPERDecember 21, 2008 at 12:12 AM

    hmmmm.. di kasi finollow yung advices ko eh.

    ReplyDelete
  41. pusangkalyeDecember 21, 2008 at 11:42 AM

    jules--welcome back---haha

    KRIS JASPER --haha. hard headeda . easier said than done kasi. keke

    ReplyDelete
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